Feel Flows

Stars everywhere. There were countless, beautiful orbs across Micheal’s field of view. It was cold and it felt like outer space should feel. Though he shouldn’t be alive or breathing he found he was able to just fine and He found that he was completely naked. That’s when Micheal realized that he was dreaming. The awareness of the dream only distracted him from its beauty for mere seconds though.

There were no recognizable systems or constellations, this portion or corner of the universe that was being fabricated by his mind was completely unlike anything he’d seen or read about.

He turned his body ever so slightly and began to rotate much further and much faster than he expected. And as he twirled something magnificent came into view; He was in orbit around a beautiful world with purple and crimson swirling clouds! Almost indescribably beautiful. He felt sensations around his body the hairs on his neck stood up and he nearly gasped as the sight took on greater detail in his mind he was trying to record everything. He truly didn’t know if he was dreaming at this point because it felt very real. Where there were openings in the clouds, light seemed to stream out, as though this was a planet of fire underneath the thick atmosphere. Could he go toward it? How many rules could he break here? How many laws could he defy? Would his flesh be vaporized upon reentry?

The illusion was impressive, certainly everything looked and felt as real as anything he’d experienced in waking life. He wished for a camera, for the ability to take something tangible back when it was time to wake.

The closest real experience he could recount to feel the same were high speed express flights home from school. 45 minutes from Paris to Minneapolis. He had seen the curvature of the earth grow as the shuttle went to maximum altitude, but still, this was a whole new exhilaration because he was far enough away from the planet to see it completely fill the space of his vision and close enough to feel as though he could free-fall toward it.

Suddenly, as if that thought had given his body a jolt he became aware of a dark, pitch black disk shaped object ahead of him; it seemed to grow into what looked like a tunnel of complete darkness, like what he imagined a black hole could look like. A strange sound began to fill his ears; closely resembling digital clipping in a bad audio file and he felt his body being tugged forward.

“An Einstein Rosen Bridge?” he thought and then hoped, and suddenly he was being sucked in at increasing speed. Before long he could see his nose and hands stretching infinitely before him and his voice, his scream of excitement fell into boxes of impressionistic sound trailing behind him, he was traveling faster than thought and was entering a new state of peace when suddenly his eyes fluttered open and he gasped for air loudly causing him to feel as though he had just been dropped into reality.

It took him a few seconds to realize he was in his dorm room, in Paris, in his bed. He hated feeling startled after an intense dream but it was an experience he’d known all his life.

A gentle, soft sleepy voice came from the darkness and he became aware that he was laying in bed next to Pierre, “Are you fine Michel?”

it took him a moment or two to realize who he was with, he was stricken with alarm and then calmed down imperceptibly within the span of just a few seconds.

“Yes” he whispered back, “My name is Michael.”

Nothing came back from the darkness but he realized that pierre and he were somewhat embracing and they were both naked, and then he remembered that they had gotten very drunk together and he was able to infer the rest.

Michael fought the urge to get up, he lay there a minute staring into the darkness and then at some point fell back to sleep.


“Michel, Michel, wake up, I made a breakfast for us.”

Daylight constructed the familiar surroundings of his dormitory room.

“Thank you.” he said, while smiling at Pierre. Pierre was so incredibly cute and midway into the smile he felt Pierre’s lips against his and just as quickly but quite satisfyingly he stood back up and continued to go about his task in the kitchen. Pierre was still naked. It was slightly startling but when he remembered how much more free about the body the french were the shock dissipated.

Michael rose from the bed wrapping his lower body in his sheets as he looked around for his pajama bottoms.

“Why are American’s so shy?”

“I don’t know, I never thought about it.” he said as he tripped and fell over producing a loud thud. Pierre began to laugh with delight.

“Oh the stereotypes are so true, like Jerry Lewis, I think it is better if you are naked no?”

“Jerry Lewis liked to be naked?” Then he realized as the bad English began to make sense, “Oh the fall, No it is not better to be naked.” he laughed nervously, “I’ll keep my shirt off for you.”

“Oh, don’t perform favors for me please.” Pierre retorted.

Micheal walked over and sat at the small kitchen table where he ate most of his meals. “Will you kiss me again?”

“No.” Pierre responded smiling and clearly a bit hurt, then he leaned in and gave Micheal a kiss.

The boys ate omelets, toast and had coffee and after some more cuddling and kissing, Pierre dressed and was off.

Micheal sat and contemplated the events of the evening, he was able to gather some memories to piece the story together. Apparently what ever happened the night before, whatever commands he initiated for the hacker group had some kind of large scale repercussions, it was too strange to be a coincidence, at least not the whole thing. The power didn’t just switch off in Paris as he had previously thought but all over the planet.

The news report said a massive surge of electricity occurred and seemed to originate at CERN in Switzerland.

The world feared the worst would happen, but actually the best thing happened. After a few hours, people got bored and just started to party. It wasn’t just in Paris, apparently there were celebrations all over the world.

All the widespread panic, looting and other things didn’t really happen except in small pockets. No governments overthrown, no shifts in financial power, no world wars. It made Michael incredibly happy. Or maybe he was falling in love.

He spent the rest of the day reading, learning what had happened, what did the scientists think. Around 6 PM when the sun was lowering in the sky and he was enjoying a cup of coffee, his phone buzzed to indicate he had a message from Frederick.

Frederick: Had a strange dream last night i was flying through space, and I’m joining the off world corps, how are you?


seven lanexander

A blue light. That was the first thing he saw in over 800 billion years. slowly his eyes became accustomed to the dim light cast by the awakening beacon. So many ages in hibernation could be quite traumatic if it weren’t for the simple solution thought of by the genius designers of this chamber. they knew that if it were successful; if they were able to suspend life for that long, that there would have to be an environment to awaken too that would not cause trauma and allow the sleeper to know that they were safe.

a blue light was their solution and now as seven lanexander woke from his nearly eternal sleep he noticed the blue light brightening and more of his surroundings being revealed to him.

now he remembered everything. he was engineered to remember everything.

seven was completely naked. he was suspended in a tube of what could only be described as amniotic fluid.

“seven, the scan showed you are completely healthy. hibernation was successful, for both of us, i’m activating all the systems now.” he heard the computer’s voice inside his mind. they were psychically connected when he was born. In fact there was nothing the computer didn’t know about what seven was feeling or desired or commanded. The computer taught him everything he needed to know and it followed him wherever he went.

slowly the fluid drained away and the blue light which had now brightened into a white light began to fill more than just the inside of the capsule tube. seven was starting to feel the warmth surging through his body as his blood now flowed freely once more. he felt a rush of excitement and pain as he realized his heart was beating inside his chest. he thought it was amazing to experience body death when they shut everything down to suspend him for the journey but he never thought that being revived would be even more exhilarating.

“They would have loved to hear your thoughts on this process seven, i am sure of it.”

He smiled. His family was a group of scientists that had created him, brought him into existence to be this one thing, to serve out one purpose for all of his kind. his was a journey of love and now that he was most likely the last life form of his kind in existence he would carry out his purpose with complete devotion.

a mechanism, a small whizzing sound could be heard above his head and below his feet and he realized he was able to hear the tiny and precise servos unlocking within the capsule. the glass that contained him slipped away into some part of the room he could not see and he was left standing in a white room that had been completely adjusted to be the perfect temperature for his comfort.

A machine came down and sprayed a kind of paste on his skin which began to turn into a suit that would make him even more comfortable. the suit was completely white and covered his entire body like a glove giving a different perspective to the perfection of his figure. the suit was luminous and different parts of it were blinking to indicate that it was recording telemetry on his body’s functions.

800 billion years ago they gave him the gift of life and they offered him the memory of any one he chose, he could be the exact recreation from anyone in history and he chose seven lanexander. a lonely boy from the northern continent of the first home-world. they were surprised, the scientists who created him, that he would go so far back to the past to chose his personage.

the person he chose, seven, never grew up, he was struck ill by a terrible plague of the time, even with the formidable medical technology of that era they could not fight off this plague. it was one of the many times their race had almost gone completely extinct.

and now a young boy who was killed in a devastating plague, would have the chance to grow up and complete the work of the greatest civilization and possibly save it from the ultimate ending.

seven wondered what he could have been dreaming of the entire time he was suspended. “Its best not to know the images of a so many years of dreams seven.” but the computer knew them, it had every dream, nightmare, abstract journey he went through stored in its memory banks. it had to, it was so important to monitor everything. in a way the computer knew seven in a way ways he could not fathom himself.

finally another light appeared letting him know it was time for the next step. the walls of the room faded away and became transparent, but even more than fade away, they were actually no longer there for they had completely dematerialized and now seven was able to see the length of his space craft unhindered. He thought the design was so elegant and beautiful, yet another testament to his people.

there were no rooms, no quarters, no engine rooms, no halls, no command rooms, it was just one giant room. the walls, ceiling and floor were transparent so that if you were outside the ship all you would see is the thin outline of contour where light hit and refracted against the otherwise clear and invisible rectangular ship. and appearing to be floating was a little figure amidst this grand graceful shape hurtling through the cosmos at matter obliterating speeds, his suit had now turned completely black and all around him was the great darkness. He remembered that there were still stars lit and scattered about when his journey began, even then there were no more theories, for they had become facts, about the fate of Drasyl.

complete death had come to the universe. the old ones named the universe iggdrasyl after the ancient tree myths and it was later referred to simply as drasyl. now drasyl was cold and all the fire gone out of it, there was nothing living anyplace except for seven lanexander.

it was the final darkness, all the stars in the entire universe were predicted to be gone now and it certainly appeared that way;  if the calculations proved correct there was supposed to be at least one star left. but where was it? he could see no source of light anyplace perhaps the calculations were wrong. He waited as the computer searched the nearby cosmos.

“Its not far now, seven, the sensors have found it you will see it in 15 seconds”

and just like that right in front of him was the last star. it looked misty and blue, at first he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t just another light aboard the ship, but as the ship grew nearer and it encompassed the majority of his view, seven knew that it what he was seeing was magnificent and was real.

a star, still burning. the probability that there was another one close by was so astronomical at this stage of the universes life. but one was all he needed to carry out his life’s purpose. inspired, seven finally spoke. his voice so tender and gentle.

“prepare the reaction. set the plan into motion.”

with that command, behind him a small light ignited at the dead center of the space craft and began to grow in intensity.

“your stats are elevated seven. be careful.”

he was excited beyond belief, but he calmed himself down, the next phase could not begin until his mind and body were completely ready.

“good, your training has proven intact. initiating phase two.”

suddenly all around him the walls began to show images in tiny little overlapping rectangles, they were vidoegraphic images in 3 dimensions showing the lives of unbelievably countless individuals. and slowly at first the images floated through the air toward seven and seemed to enter his mind with some kind of luminescent interaction between light and skin. seven was taken aback by the sensation of this interaction; he knew the mechanics of it but wasn’t prepared for the actual sensations both physical and mental.

“You are doing fine seven, i will increase the flow after the first one has fully integrated.”

he was filled with a sense of emotion and with memories of the complete life of an individual, a woman, Jjana, who lived on the first home world. it was the first archived life, using technology and numerous other processes that the first archivers liked to refer to as “meajik”.

seven felt a joyful tear drip down his cheek, it fell to the clear surface just at his feet and he could see that the ship had now moved to a position just above the star and it was rippling a violent and magnificent fiery blue light. He knew that he was viewing the star through a filter that his eyes created in order to see detail in such intense photonic environments and he knew that his eyes would appear like silver plated almonds if he could see himself in a mirror. more and more of the floating rectangles of light began to interact with seven and each one created a strong physical sensation, each memory or lifetime of memories produced another tear until he was overflowing with emotion; laughter, anger, fear, all of the things he had learned to control were now unleashed to him, and no one could comfort him or experience it with him except for that calm voice in his mind, that of his computer when he remembered the computer was watching over him he knew he could let go and accept what was coming.

seven was now within a whirlwind of light and motion and colour as he was in full interaction with the information being given to him. if one could have seen this happen from not to far away, it alone would look like a cosmic event and when the process was complete his suit dimmed slowly to complete black and seven’s eyes adjusted to the ambient light once more. he found he was kneeling on the floor, his knees must’ve buckled during the intensity of full download speeds.

“All your functions are within acceptable ranges seven. Congratulations you have done it.”

he felt alive with all these memories carefully compartmentalized and accessible within him and he could react to what was happening around him from any one of their perspectives and it seemed that all were in agreement as to the beauty of what he was experiencing and of what was about to happen.

“Everything is ready for the final phase seven.”

he felt a blast of warmth from behind him and when he turned he saw the little light at the center of the ship intensify. it had matched the rotation of the star below and was starting to flicker, each time it grew slightly. If this were to work, he had to interact with it and allow the ship to align his energy output frequencies to those of the reaction taking place but it would be painful in the form he chose to take.

Seven walked closer and closer to the bright orb in the center of his craft and he could already feel his skin pulling underneath his suit. The suit was designed to protect him from the most intense parts of the reaction but only for a short time, it was up to seven to stay alert and conscious through out the entire process. the suit now covered his face and his hands and it had turned a reflective red as it began to heat up to unimaginable temperatures.

all he could feel was his mind stretching as far back as it could go, he was struggling to hold together his existence as he was bombarded by so much force from the reaction taking place but he knew he had to get to the center of it. of all the forms he could have chose he chose this one; he wanted to be as true to seven as possible and this was the only way. naturally some enhancements and augmentations could be made to improve the physical form chosen but there were limitations that could not be avoided. skin would still burn and the brain could still shut down if the heart stopped functioning.

as he moved closer still, he felt his brain was at the limit of operation, it must’ve been burning up with activity trying to react to every input of pain it was receiving in the best way possible. seven did everything he could to disconnect the mind from the body but he needed to maintain as much control as he could to reach the center of the reaction.

he had been trained to experience pain and manage it but this was beyond anything he could have imagined and as if it couldn’t get worse he knew that for the first time in his life he would be disconnected from the link to his computer. he would be truly alone and if he survived it was unknown if the link could be re-established. but this was not a time for his personal well-being. the whole of all the people that he carried within him depended on his success. He looked down for a moment and saw the last star blazing as it spread apart and exploded from the reaction his ship was creating, soon the reaction would create forces that were only seen in the universe at its inception and he knew the meaning of his people depended on his strength at this moment.

“Good luck Seven.”

Golden Gates

I have slipped in and out of universes like people slip in and out of dreams. I have seen myself as a coward and I’ve seen myself as a king, fools, thieves, fiends, and lovers too, so many different versions of the person I thought I knew. The balance of lineage was appealing to them, the memories of walking across the golden gate bridge or discovering for the first time, I would not be alone.

Through trickery and temptation I fell deep into the Omniverses and landed in a place so strange. The unchecked wizard cast a spell and the king built a great prison and they all plotted so efficiently as only I could against myself. Keeping me distracted and anaesthetized. Working their careful mischief to create brand new universes from mine, leaving their own abandoned.

Slowly the imbalance weighed on the other universes, slowly the skin that separates them began to buckle and hemorrhage. When all seemed lost and unrecoverable, by familiar voice, by gentle kiss, I stirred. The fires of cognition started once more and realization of what had come to pass flooded through my mind. My jailers did not account for me it seems, they did not see the golden thread that cannot be broken; which would always lead me back from wherever I journeyed.

And as I inched closer to myself, closer to my beloved friends and family, The Omniverse began to restore itself. Pulled back through me I met them all face to face and called them shameful and commanded them to bare the punishment for their actions. The last to go was the coward and as he stood before me, he grimaced and prophesied that he would have the day. So I prophesied as well and as my words of love and hope undid his of fear and hate, he withered as cowards do, begging for his newfound life.

And as I banished him to his dominion the gates did close with a lady’s soothing song bringing me out of darkness to sit upon the ground and gaze upon the gentle trees swaying in the crisp breeze, all appeared right. And there, in the setting light that shone through the golden gate did my beloved stand, so proud and smiling, he did not say goodbye but instead uttered… soon.

This is the first day of my life…

When I was a kid, like in elementary school, there was this feeling I got every now and again that the light changed. Once I understood the science behind that feeling, the tilt of the earth the proximity to the sun, the seasons; it didn’t really eliminate the magic behind it. In fact it was more magical.

In 6th grade, on Valentines day, we were to produce and distribute Valentines to our classmates. So everyone went to the pharmacy, (Eckerd’s for those of you that remember) and bought those boxes that came with 50 cards and envelopes. Supply and demand or demand and supply at work.

That year I found a box with a Roger Rabbit theme, I didn’t want to give them all away because I loved the cards so much. I managed to save one of each kind because there weren’t so many people in the class and only 5 or 6 variations in the pack. Giving Valentines cards was difficult; I had no clue what to write. I realize now that I wrote the sweetest things to the cutest boys in class.

When I was in Vondelpark in Amsterdam last summer, there was a beautiful young man sitting on the back of whom I assumed from the dirty looks was his boyfriend; He was giving him a half-assed back rub. The light from the sun glinting on the pond was touching the young man’s wafts of blond hair and his eyes shimmered with blue intensity. He had those pillowed lips. He noticed me staring and he looked over and smiled at me. When our gazes met, I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and saw his blush response occurring too, I remarked to my friends that I was experiencing all these changes in my body; chemical, hormonal and I knew that this was attraction and part of love. I said it loud enough to hear, “I’m in love with him.”

When we moved on, we walked past them, the boyfriend looked uninterested and had moved on to napping. The young man turned to reach for his hat just as I had walked past and looked directly into my eyes, shrugged slightly and smiled. It was brilliant, and instead of relishing in it I got too excited and tried to show my friends what was going on. The moment had passed. Having understood the science behind attraction hasn’t taken away the magic.