This blog is very time-space oriented, it delves into fictional worlds at times too and of course there’s always a germ of truth in every fiction, sometimes a tree or a forest of truth. This one is a forested planet.
My Birthday is the day after tomorrow, May 11 2011.
Last year at this time I was in Paris celebrating year 32. I spent the night before with new friends laughing about things I can’t remember in a small bar beneath the shadows of the Sacre Coeur. A man named Francois, a woman named Brooks and a boy named Philip who I would have gladly held hands with if he were gay. The day of my birthday I greeted and spent the day with my old friend Eddie. It was good to have someone from back home there. I would spend the next three months getting to know him even better. I don’t think I could have known back then how his presence would be the gift I needed most.
He came bearing a gift from all my friends who couldn’t make it to Paris and it is with that gift that I am writing this entry now.
I made really big deals out of birthday 28 through 30. Drunken escapades, standing on tabletops and weeklong extravaganzas… I think somehow I anticipated that everything would change after that… it did. The changes have been mostly pleasant and while I realize now that I could have embraced these changes without such feats of fancy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think for some people balance comes from having been to extremes, like a pendulum slowing down and becoming centered.
As I walked through Europe I periodically reflected on every year of my life, as much as I could remember anyhow. It is said; when you remember something you are actually losing the integrity of that memory because your brain has to rewrite it in order to continue preserving it and during that rewriting process sometimes things change. A red shirt becomes blue, short hair becomes long, blue eyes become green and bad lovers become good. Maybe it is best to not remember things until you are very old.
Today at work, they celebrated the May Birthdays. I’m the only person in the office with a May Birthday. One of the new hires told my friend she couldn’t believe how old I was, she thought I was 19, his response was very funny. When I look at myself sometimes I don’t know what age I am. I could be twenty something or several billion years old. Maybe time travelers forget how old they are.